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have designer bag...will travel


So living and working in New York City means riding the subway is a reality of my daily existence. Although I consider myself professionably successful, I prefer to be fashionally frugal, which means opting to to walk most of the time from my very convenient 5th Avenue crib.

I suspect most New Yorkers have the prototypical cab addiction — as necessary to survival as their Grande-Skinny-Caramel-Macch-Double-Shot-Espresso running through their veins. Those who have really made it (think: expense account) have personal drivers or, at minimum, a car service ride to cruise around town.

Being content as a subway sojourner, I’m left to observe my fellow travelers, specifically the real vs. fake designer bag toters. The reality of the real designer bag market is that they are essentially ‘affordable luxury’ starting at a tempting $300. My personal definition of luxury is to have something unique that is not on the arms of a thousand others. But seriously, if you can afford to spend $2,000 on a bag, shouldn’t you be able to afford to be above ground in a towncar? I’m of the old-school philosophy that you do not spend what you do not have. So, are they dropping $2K on credit? Are they scraping every last dime to have a Speedy? Are they gifts of ‘benefit boyfriends’?

As for the fly girls who are carrying fake louis vuitton bags dressed in H&M…who do you think you are kidding? Go buy yourself something unique this weekend — that reflects who you really are or aspire to be. It can be a vintage, it can be new…. but if it’s fake, ask yourself: "Why Am I Buying This?" And if your current purse doesn’t allow for expenditures , trade a former fave with a close friend. Won’t cost you a dime but you’ll appreciate it so much more!

Adventures in Palm Beach Land-Breaking and Entering at the Breakers

Escaping New York during the winter is imperative and this year I visited the Palm Beach area with a good friend of mine Nikki (party planner extrodinaire of bon-vivantllc.com). Nikki being the social butterfly and hooked up in many ways had the whole weekend mapped out for us. I lean more towards the introverted side so I get a kick out of spending time with her. I also like to play the game 1 degree of separation to Nikki. All weekend long we ran into people she knew-at the Avis car rental was her mentor, at the airport another friend.
Friday night we attended the Wellington winter equestrian jumping festival. We had amazing front row seats, ate quesadillas, and partied with some Argentinean polo players. Saturday Night we hit local Palm Beach eatery Bice for dinner. At the bar upon enterring I was in total shock. I had never seen so much plastic surgery in one room. Not only were the women sliced, diced, pulled, and injected, they were decked to the nines. There was no time timid fashion statements. Tight, colorful, short, designery garb meant for 20 year olds, full on matching jewelry and photoshoot worthy makeup was de rigeur for this 40 plus crowd. At one point Nikki asked me if I was ok (i guess my expression was close to aghast) I stammered..."I've just never seen anything like this" We ran into my new New Jersey bff who I met getting on our jetblue flight (toting louis vuitton rolling bag, gucci shoulder bag, ricci sunglasses, ysl high heel sandals, and Baso fur coat) with her boyfriend of the moment. Later at our table I made friends with a lovely German woman whose dachshund dog had his own seat at the table. Nothing shy about this crowd!
After dinner we headed to local hotspot Cucina. Turns out Palm Beach is an early night town and Cucina is the only joing open after 11 or so. So I am thinking based on the buzz Cucina is really exclusive and chic. But it turns out to be the second shocker of the night- a total melting pot. Kinda like that college bar but with a disco ball and peppering of waspy preps in blue blazers. Young and old locals, Argentinean polo players, thirsty tourists, and cougars mix together fueled by tacky blasting music. Think Cavalli, H&M, Brooks Brothers, Tommy Bahama, and Forever 21 under one roof.
Nikki picks up a single guy 'K' because he came to the bar solo and in her books 'that takes a lot of guts.' Turns out he's in Palm Beach for a hedge fund convention and staying at the Breakers. Do we want to go back to the Breakers? (a hotel with strict visitation rules that unless you are staying there or are a guest of a guest) YES PLEASE. Truth be told I was ready to get out of Cucina the minute I stepped in it. So off we went in our White Crysler convertible (a rental) with Breakers guest (folded up like a beach chair) in the back seat for a 4 block drive. Once in the Breakers I have to say I was impressed by it's opulence. We heard the bar may be on last call but we headed over anyways. It was actually too late for them to serve us but they let us sit and chat with the other Breakers renegades who at 12:30 am did not want to go to sleep. We ran into 'Joe the lobbyist' who Nikki and I had met earlier by the pool at our hotel. (note to self this is a small town!) 'K' being an gentleman had a plan in creation/motion. After speaking frankly with the bartender he went to the phone in the hall and ordered a bottle of champagne from room service to be delivered to the hallway plant near the elevator. Our/my hero! After the champs arrived we took our small party outside to admire the view and check out the pools. Despite pool area being closed at dusk we toe dipped in the hot tub for over an hour un noticed.
The only clothing that was removed was my nylons (under the privacy of a full bush-pun not intended) but friendships were forged and fun had by all.

martha martha martha


So my fun and young girlfriend 'j' got tickets to be in the audience for a taping of the Martha Stewart Show. Luckily as a freelancer I can go to these sorts of silly frivolities. 'J' was super excited because she said 'we will get tons of great shit-ie swag'. Me being the jaded fashionista whose had it up to my ears in useless fashion swag (knitting needles and multicolored yarn from ports 1961 hello random!) decided to just be excited to attend. I've never been an audience member before and I found out that there is a art to it. So we figured it was best to arrive on the early side to make sure we get in. Just because you have a confirmed ticket doesn't mean you can show up late for Martha (manners are important to her). We arrived early in the rain and luckily were in the first group in the line. After being ushered in like cattle and given a color coded ticket that would have been glittered if it was up to Martha, we went through security, checked our coats, filled out paper work, and took a seat in a waiting room. Joey the audience fluffer came in to rile us up and get us excited for the show. We were expected to clap, to smile, to give the love. No crossing your arms and sulking on this show! Martha would be making triple citrus cupcakes and 'j' was convinced we would be getting one to eat. We were given last opportunity to use the ladies room and told that once up in the studio it is important to keep our seats. On a side note...the martha show is not a good place to meet men...they play for the other team but are friendly. We had been informed in advance to wear bright colors-no black, white, tan, or muted grays. Since I've worked with dressing people for tv I was well aware of how to look best on camera (btw blue is magic onscreen). Once upstairs we were ushered to our seats. The system is all very organized and well planned. We were in the second row from the top in the middle. There were plenty of staff getting the set ready and doing their jobs. I could see that Martha was in the fake kitchen tooling around and talking to staff. Joey then taught us how to be a good audience. Aparently the 'right' way to clap is to fade out the clapping at the end-an abrupt end is bad. Just before Martha started taping I got to see her style team in action-pushing back her hair, lint rollering her shirt, double checking her look which was not too exciting (cropped pants -not really doing anything for ya martha, button down fitted shirt in navy blue, and wedge shoes). They tape the show as if it's live but it will be broadcast May 18th in 5 segments. Martha only messed up so they restarted taping. In between the segment tapings were my favorite times because the dj would blast hip hop music. Does Martha have a thing for all things bling? I have been noticing that she had Q-tip on the show and she was flirting...
There were Q cards, hot lights, a rowdy group of bejeweled housewives behind us from Philly, many cameras, and snorable segments-a chef I had never heard of pushing a cook book that I will never buy, an inventor blogger I've never heard of, silly questions from the audience.
But really the most exciting thing was watching Joey work. He had an ability to rile the audience up just by dangling the notion of swag. When he did distribute swag to a few audience members it wasn't impressive-copies of everyday magazine (pass thanks).
Martha was her calm monotone self. I noticed she tried everything and seems to love food. Twice the stylist had to wipe down her shirt due to food falling.
I think we were the youngest and cutest audience members because I noticed the cameras sweeping on us on the monitors 5 times. Have you seen the average Martha audience member? She's nothing to look at. But she can bake/cook/craft up a storm.
Upon leaving we realized no triple citrus cupcakes for us but a MAKE notebook and a copy of MAKE Magazine.

a rose by anyone name?


Now I understand buzz in new york. The Rose Bar in the Gramercy Park Hotel has major buzz. But with buzz there is misinformation. One of my hedge fund CEO's explained that to get in you have to email and have a reservation in advance and have a secret email address. And that it was always a SS or CF. What I have found which I should probably not say is that the reservations start at 10pm at night. The doors close to the public at 9pm. But if you are already inside the Rose Bar before 9pm you can stay be there, hang out, even visit the chic bathrooms and get handed a pass that will get you back in. I have also been enjoying frequenting the bar in the early evening when it's still subdued and civilized. The downside is that when sober the $19 cocktails seem ridiculous in this economy. Last night I organized a group of 6 (with the help of a guy friend conspirator) for a little get together and we had a really nice time. In advance I was sweating the door policy so i sent an email to the rosebar from the link on their website. Got a confirmation that stated it in no way was a reservation but then never heard back to say we were in or out. I had asked for a reservation at 8:30. Maybe they deemed it not necessary and that they don't reserve at that hour but still a real human response would be nice. I then got my friend on the phone who has a friend who is 'in' there. She then gave me another email address 'velvetropes' but alas that email address rejected me because I wasn't on his email list. I guess there are cyber velvet ropes now. I was also given the cell phone number of the manager but decided not to call for fear of being blacklisted.
We winged it and you know we didn't get kicked out of our table. We had a lovely time, met some cool people playing pool and went home happy.I know I'm on their marketing radar because I get beautiful invitation mailings to come stay at the hotel but hello...I live here. I'm just wondering since I've been here like 5 times, when do I become a 'regular' where everybody knows my name?

Palm Springs Bed Hopping

viceroy dining room
snowcone bus at ace that falls short
too cool for school pool at the ace
outdoor dining at the Riviera
red chandelier at the Riviera

So I was in Palm Springs visiting my two honorary uncles having a grand old time during Dina Shore (lesbian) weekend. One at DINKS (dual income no kids) we were subjected to a great torch singer whose breasts were so big I might turn gay.
But anyways, one of the highlights of the trip (besides getting dust boogers horseback riding) was touring the local hotels.
Here's a rundown:
The ACE: Local mid century modern furniture expert Courtney's comment was dead on. "It seems like they are trying really hard to look like they're not trying. But really, they should try a little harder!" Decor was kitchy and clever but service fell short. It's cute that the server by the pool delivers food on his skateboard but it's not cute when the shortbus serving alcoholic snowcones lacks a bartender. Converting an old holiday inn is a great concept but a coat of paint doesn't really change much. Clientele feels young and immature-pot smoking, beer drinking and tattoo toting. Too kool for school! I certainly hope when the ACE opens on Broadway in nyc Walter does open an oyster bar and the service is up to snuff.
Dave Dixon's sexy boutique hotel Colony Palms Hotel was one of my top picks. The rooms center around the inviting pool and restaurant area. It features a charming cozy vibe and attractive guests. Such a treat to dine alfresco pool side. On my way in I passed Kristen Davis scoping the place out with her surfer hot boytoy so the chances of meetings celebrities are good.
The Parker was decorated by Jonathan Adler and is fabulously grand. It feels like a secret enclosed paradise. Beautiful landscaping and grounds. Restaurant is super dark, super low ceilings, and super lively ie loud. Not my ideal but popular. The spa has his and hers private indoor pools perfect for nude swimming. I would go back for the spa.
The Rivera: style wise this was my idea of heaven. Color and ambiance with the red, white, black, genius lighting schemes, and many mirrors. Organic clover shaped clever pool and outdoor dining. Inventive round bamboo steamer boxes are clever for pool side food presentation.
The Viceroy: still one of my favorites. Is chic since it was decorated by Kelly Wearstler (it's her husbands hotel) but totally cozy. Colors are stark white black with accents of bright yellow. Food is scrummy but the pool is the size of a postage stamp.
Being a water person I am intrigued by watsu offered at ultra exclusive desert hideaway at 2 Bunch Palms. You can find me there soaking in the healing waters next year!
Can't wait to return!

fashion spring cleaning?

Ahhh Spring....the in between weather.So perfect for fashion pickles. Yesterday I decided to break out an outfit from the summer. Unitard from american apparel so that I could jump into yoga class at 6pm with short flowy dress over it. Now what shoes to wear...too cold to go sockless I tried on socks with my flats (need flats for walking in nyc) and I looked....well. ridonculous (a cross between ridiculous and a donkey that sounds funny)! My legs looked short and stumpy. That's the downside of leggings-they cut my not model long legs. Ok, so next outfit with a long dress over the leggings hides the ankle area was a little better. But come on ladies, I can't believe this legging craze has gone as far as it has. Let's move on already!

On my high horse



I convinced one of my honorary uncles (the funny one) to come horse back riding with me at Smoke Tree Ranch. We chose the 2 hour tour because it's more scenic and visits an oasis. I am used to riding english on the east coast and I'm clearly out of my element. Even though I was born on the west coast I'm as californian as Carla Bruni. I show up geared up in my black english riding hat, gloves, black suede half chaps and practice britches. The Old Cowboy handing over my horse 'Frankie' pigeon holed me from a mile away. He was convinced I would be flying off the horse due to my 'high center of gravity' while my uncle would fare just fine slumping in the saddle. I got the distinct feeling that he would relish the thought of a prissy english rider (with years of experience) bucked off swallowing a dirt sandwich. (Wish they had warned us about the dusty boogers). Old Coyboy and I had another showdown about horse communication. When I jokingly asked what language Frankie spoke he said that they don't speak to their horses at Smoke Tree Ranch since they had the brain capacity of a 2 year old. I beg to differ.
Once on the trail I found our guide Lica to be much more sympathetic to my englishness. When she saw my half chaps she was jealous since they are less hot to ride in. Turns out she has a dressage and show background. Couldn't tell by her cowboy boots and jeans but no matter. She also weighed in on the english/western showdown by saying that she 'rides the horse not the tack!' Lica checked in with us and asked how I was loving 'Frankie'. Frankly, Frankie was riding up the ass of the horse in front of me which I voiced and Lica advised a few half halts with a little leg. She said that Frankie was well versed in dressage! That was hard to believe since he was mangly, dusty, and was not sporting the snobby prissy look of a show pony.
So how was the ride? Dusty, short bursts of trotting, reigning my horse in, magnificent mountain views. Beauty and the beast.

Empire of what?

7:30pm
empire hotel rooftop bar
friday night
why do they think that loud music creates the illusion of more people?
where are the civilized but unstuffy people of manhattan?

I realize that the red dress by velvet may be a little too sexy after getting groped/massaged/kneeded by a man
named 'john'. Despite banter and ensuing conversation no drink is offered but a visit and view from his 35th floor
apartment is (danger and trouble included). I decline and declare that 'I do not do that! Not even on a first date'
He commends me for having standards and then is off like a prom dress.
I'm not surprised-he was sport fishing for sure!

Just Say NO to Harem Pants

Ok Ladies.
I'm all for fashion. I work in fashion but I believe in looking good. What I stress to my clients is to showcase their best features and to WORK IT. So I ask you, what does the Harem pant accentuate?
The fact that you have a low crotch and wear diapers. I saw them on the runway and thought they would never translate, but then I saw them in the store windows in these great mecca of new york. I thought for sure no one would fall for them.....but then 2 days ago I saw 2 women wearing black harem pants in the LES/East Village area. Ok so downtown is one thing. But I'm warning you if I see them uptown or on Bill Cunningham's Shot on the Street in the NYTimes I'm going to start writing fashion citations!